We’ve come so far and we’ve reached so high. And we’ve looked each day and night in the eye. And we’re still so young and we hope for more. Yes, it was Take That time again. Roughly every year since Take That have reformed, my sister and I have seen them in some form or other. At their maximum, there was five. Now two have jumped ship and they are down to three. As we’ve seen them so often, I’m now on the pre-order ticket list. For pre-ordering their album, I get to access the tour tickets a couple of days before the hoy polloi get them. Sweet.
For some reason, they seem to announce their tour dates for the upcoming year during the October half term. They know that their main client base must be teachers both practising and retired. Every year my sister and I have the same argument. I want to stand and she wants to sit. Every year my sister always wins out. Oh well maybe next year…
So, there we were last Saturday, in the O2, up in the Gods, sweltering away.
“Hello London! You’re looking fabulous on a Saturday night!” announced Gary Barlow in the way that Gary Barlow only can. The opening chords for Greatest Day rang out and up we stood. Half way through a woman whose head were in front of my feet, started shouting at me.
“You’re spilling your beer on my head!”
“Oppss! Sorry!” I said and put the mouthful of beer I had left in my plastic pint glass into the drinks holder on my seat. I stopped singing. I knew it was far worse. It wasn’t beer that had gone on that woman’s head. It was drool.
My drooling has reached epic proportions. I am drooling everywhere. On student’s work, random women’s’ heads, on the dog, on nurses’ iPads, you name, I’ve probably drooled on it. The reason for the drooling is my mouth. As I have no facial nerve on the left side of my face, the left side of my mouth is drooping quite badly. It’s happened quickly. Only last year in photos, I’m grinning away celebrating my 40th birthday. Now it’s all lopsided.
People are noticing. When I went to the local tip to get rid of some gardening stuff, the old bloke who works there asked if I had had a stroke. I told him a condensed version and he looked horrified. You can forget how bonkers it all is to civilians. So, it was a bit of a blessing that after Take That, I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon.
I decided to take some moral support so my husband came with me. We managed to squeeze in a trip to Costa to discuss tactics beforehand. I had decided to go with the bog standard hoik up. I wanted to stop drooling asap and to-ing and fro-ing to Birmingham wasn’t going to help that. We arrived bang on time and an hour later we were called in.
My husband has a weird theory about medical professions. He thinks you can tell a lot by looking in their eyes. They either have sharp, focused eyes or dull, lazy eyes. Thankfully Mr Q’s eyes are firmly the former. I told him of my preferred option and the reason why. He nodded and didn’t try and change my mind. In fact, I think he agreed with it. Now came the tricky part. We arranged for him to come to my appointment at the eye clinic in August. There both he and the eye surgeon would discuss further what to do. Then, hopefully, I would have one operation where both my eye and my mouth would be hoiked up. The stitches would finally come out of my eye and the drooling would stop. It all sounded good. We shook hands and arrangements were made to meet at the end of August. My drooling days were numbered.